Straight from the Mistake

Laziness

2007-01-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

I have become extremely lazy... whether this is due to the enormous HD purchase or the addition of the PS3 is still undecided. I am rejoining the blog community for one reason. To try to motivate myself to get back into shape. This has nothing to do with 2007 and everything to do with 215, pounds that is. The goal is 195 by March One. Please help me achieve this goal of a healthier lifestyle by sending messages, texts, and calling to encourage me to get my fat ass off the couch and work out. Thank you and god bless.

Does London know Big Ben fell down?

2006-06-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

Ben Roethlisberger... maybe one more year at Miami was necessary so you didnt eff up your whole career. Nice job Benjamin. Even after Kellen "the soldier" Winslow II was the butt of all jokes for a year you still go injure yourself on a motorcycle. I applaud you sir. Even Terry Bradshaw, quite possibly the dumbest human being alive told you not to do it, you still kick started the bitch. I'm done. Holla

2006-06-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Thursdays double header had double-run ruler written all over it. Well someone was looking out for us when we only lost by four in the first game. Now the kicker is we only scored 2 runs. Two effin runs in a game of softball. This is only slightly pathetic. We got beat 6-2. Wow, their pitcher gave up 2 runs in a game of softball. I wouldn't be surprised if the Yankees give this kid a call and send him to C-Bus to sling for the Columbus Clippers. Speaking of the Clippers, ring your bell. I hear they're building a new Clippers stadium in the Arena district. If any of you know more please post and let me know. Thank you much.

The second part of the double header looked much like all the other run rules weve had in the past.Our opponent, Team Rich Softball, including $$$ on their jerseys. They were managed by a retired plumber names Rich, this is priceless. This guy is like 77 years old living the dream through a bunch of washed out white trash. 14-5 after the fifth. We rally back and get one more chance. We were down 16 to 12 going into the bottom of the seventh. I lead off with a liner ripped between the SS and Three Base man. I'm on first. Two hits later still no outs and I cross home. 16 - 13. A couple batters later and we tie it up 16s, with two outs and a man on third. They walk our next two batters, who have three home runs between the two of them in this game. So here we are, bottom of the seventh(the last inning in softball) bases loaded two outs, tied up. A single wins it. Number 2, i think his name is Phil drops one into the gap. We effin won a game. Wow we have 3 wins and 9ish losses.

So i told you I would elaborate on the Sherif/James thing. So here it goes. I went to school with Sherif at Miami. He wants to be a dentist. He believes that as a dentist, the name Dr. Sherif, may hurt business post 9/11. So he legally changed his name to James. Good stuff I tell ya. Anyways, Sherif/James is a good friend of mine. We threw him a welcome to America party during our senior year when he became a legal citizen of the US of A. I'm so proud of Sherif/James. It should also be noted that Sherif/James' younger brother Fady (pronounced Fatty) now goes by Michael, same story. Good stuff I tell ya. I plan on hanging out with Sherif/James and Fady/Michael quite a bit this summer. Good story. Talk to ya'll soon, I'm gonna watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Gotta love Harry Peter. Peace

2006-06-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

Home sick from work today.... dehydrated as hell. Not fun. I've been pounding water all morning. I feel a little better but I still feel like I could yack at any minute. Oh well, here's my week's update.

Tuesday's softball game was another debauchle. We're the visitors, playing the field in the bottom of the fifth inning. Two outs, two men on and the roid monkey who already went yard steps up the the plate. Their entire team is telling us we shoud walk this guy like Barry "I don't do steroids" Bonds. We decide otherwise.... the first pitch is a little high and inside. Doesn't matter. Said Roid-Monkey turns on it and, gone. The thing may not have come down yet. Run ruled again. Damn. We're not good. No game Wednesday. This excites me, I needed a day off.

So I went and saw the Davinci Code with Sherif/James (this is will explain in the next post). A little dissappointed to say the least. I was bored throughout the whole movie. Don't get me wrong, I loved the book, but the movie did no justice. Great job Ron Howard... I applaud your attempt, and I hope when you try to make Angels and Demons, it is a little more entertaining. Oh well, I'll probably buy the stupid thing on DVD when it comes out. But really, does this surprise any of you. I hope not.

2006-06-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Enough about the laundry. I hate laundry.

So we played softball again tonight. Good news first; we didn't get run ruled. Bad news. We did lose by 11. I hit the ball well tonight, got on base three of four times. Walked once, grounded past the shortstop and ripped a liner over the third baseman's head. Fourth at bat and I lined one right at the shortstop. He got lucky, covered his face, and somehow caught the bitch. Oh well. We have a game Tuesday night, and then a double header on Thursday. Maybe we can win one of those.

I had day one of the new job today. I looked fuckin good in my pimpstripe suit and I made some phone calls. Nothing exciting. Time for bed. One.

2006-06-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Its 11:00, one whole hour past my bedtime. I have to wear my sweet uniform to work tomorrow. They're all dirty. The change machine doesn't take fives, tens or twentys. I only have fives, tens, and twentys. I am upset. More like pissed. I have to go find somewhere to give me one dollar bills. I wish I was at Vanity, there was a plethora of George Washingtons there. But no, I had to drive to the projects of Cleveland looking for an open Conveinent Mart or some generic bullshit to get change. The guy behind the counter doesn't know his own language, much less English. He gives me 18 one dollar bills and 8 quarters for a twenty. I leave. I meet a fat neighbor in the laundry room. He does not want to be my friend. I stop talking to him. Now I wait for the damn clothes to get washed. Then I will dry them and wait some more. Then I will fold them. Then at about 2 o'clock in the morning I will go to bed. I will wake up a little before 5. This does not make me happy.

2006-06-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

To my fans... I apologize. I have been nothing but lack luster with the blog lately. I'm a busy man, what can I say? Congrats to Mr. Pickard on your new pad. The house is awesome.

Back to the uber-interesting story of my life. I went home this past weekend. Went out with some old friends Friday night in the promise land of Dublin. Hit up the Drinking Wizard for a couple drinky drinks and then Vanity. Now, Vanity for those of you who don't know, one of the many fine gentlemen's clubs in central Ohio. To sum the evening up quickly I will just leave it at this. There were four cases of beer, too many George Washingtons being exchanged for a motor boating experience, Tanned Heat made an appearance with Moose, a pastor's daughter, a young lady under 21, and it was brought to our attention that one of my friend's girlfriends moonlights as a stripper... good for you TG. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I woke up in a pastor's house, smelling like booze and boobies. This is probably not a good thing for my post earth plans. But I'll work with it.

So Saturday I went to this lil golf tournament in Dublin. Some guy named Jack built the course and created the tournament. He must be a big deal or something. Anyways, I drove up to Wedgewood CC to take the shuttle over to Muirfield. Well, I got there five minutes after the shuttle left.... Next shuttle left an hour later. So four Goose and Tonics later, I was on the shuttle with a roadie and heading to Muirfield. I met up with a friend from work who had some connection that got us into the Leibert party off of the 11th tee. Turns out that the Leibert party had free beer and free Chipotle. These are two of my favorite things. It was like a Chipotle store but in someone's backyard... with hot chicks and free beer. I left, full and drunk at about 6:30 and went to Pick's new pad for a cookout and more drinking. We played asshole for probably three hours. It was a good time. Can't wait to go back and hang out with everyone again. But until then I will continue the downward spiral toward complete white trash in the land of cleve.

To those of you who have been following the blog, sorry for the hiatus. I promise to be more consistent with my updates in the future.

2006-05-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Been awhile... didn't mean to keep you waiting, and I know you've been waiting.

Lemme provide a quick update of the last week. Work was work.... nothing eventful worth talkin about there. Went out Friday night for the Cavs game. Turns out living downtown is bad. Bad because I can walk home from the bars and don't have to worry about how I'm getting there. Bad because I can drink more. And bad because drinking more means spending more. Brent + drinking = Bruce. Bruce is evil. Bruce made Brent late to work on Saturday morning for inventory. Don't worry everything is ok, but being late to work is not Brent's style. So please do us all a favor, if you see Bruce out on West 6th or down in the flats, and he is creating new dance moves with two large african american women, please kindly ask him to go home. If he says no and continues to "booty shake" "shimmy" just mace him and drag him out of the bar. Sometimes that bastard just crosses the line and needs his ass handed to him.

Ohh, and if somehow that CRAZY chick Vikki reads this, please get help. You might be clinically insane. I've never seen such a transformation from one extreme to another. And I'm not sure your boyfriend would appreciate the making out with 17 drunken men on the dance floor. Also, you said you were an enginerding student. You didn't mention you had a part time job with UPS. Manually inspecting the packages of all men in the bar, I hope they pay you more than minimum wage. So please seek help. If you need a reference, I know a guy. Just let me know.

Holla. Go Cavs.

2006-05-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Downtown is loud. I live right by the river and the lake... this means boats go by all the time. One would think a boat is a quiet form of transportation, if you are one of these people let me tell you, that you are dead wrong. Boats are loud. They like to sound fog horns periodically, and by periodically I mean every 30 seconds. It's almost like having your own Swiss boy scout troop outside your window blowing one of those rediculously long horns every other minute. If the boats weren't enough, then there's the train tracks 100 yards from my building. I used to like trains. Notice the used to in the previous sentence. Cleveland trains are obnoxiously loud. These things put the boats to shame. First the horns, then the loud tinging of the train signal, then the actual freight train screaming by. This makes for a good night's sleep. Might take some getting used to. Anywho, I'm up for the challenge.

Speaking of the new place, the move went well. First let me thank a great friend for driving up from the Bus to lend a hand. So I would like to thank the tommy for his assistance. We may have played more MLB baseball on the PS2 than moved shit but it got done so I appreciate your help. Everything minus a few small things is in the new place and it looks great. Visitors welcome, you get free parking and great company.

Went out with the Tommy, my brother and a couple guys from the softball team on Thursday night. I'm getting to be pretty good friends with one of the guys. I work with him, firey little Italian. This kid doesn't drink beer, he just does shots periodically throughout the evening. He buys a round everytime. Makes for an interesting night. He's a tough guy, you know the type. Walks around lookin like he wants to fight you, then swears every thirty seconds. Why do people like this always get emotional and sensitive when wasted?? Well he proceeds to tell me, how excited he is to know me and how he thinks were goin to be good friends. The whole time I'm just drunk and like yea man, that sounds good. This is not the first time a tough guy has told me these things. It's one of the most awkweird conversations you can have. He's a cool guy though and hits the shit out of the golf ball so I think I'll be his friend.

Cavs won. LeBron had a triple double. Cleveland wins game 4! You heard it here first. Let the series begin. Peace

Ouch...

2006-05-10T18:02:00.001-07:00

14 hour day today.... if workin for the man has its benefits, I havent seen them yet. Had game 2 of the softball league last night. The Islander won its first game 24-17, were now 1-1 with game #3 tomorrow night. I went 2-4 last night with a double, single and 3 rbi's. Not bad, could've gone better though, grounded to the damn shortstop and flew out to deep center for the two outs. But my knee felt much better this time around, I actually could run well. Notice I said well, and not fast.

Our third baseman, Zach, took a bad hop ripped grounder to the eye. It didn't look good similar to this actually, except he's a white kid. He was taken away in the squad. I haven't heard if he is okay yet, but I hope he's alright.

The search for the Idol is on... I'm out

2006-05-08T20:03:00.000-07:00

Day two of the company golf outing... well, I'm not living up to the hype. Started out well, with a solid two putt par on the tenth hole (we played the back this time). Then things took a turn for the worst.... Numerous duffs later I had two TRIPLE BOGEYS in a row. Par. Triple Bogey. Par. Triple. Bogey. Double. I had FOUR TRIPLE BOGEYS, count them, four triple bogeys in nine holes. I either played a hole really well and made par or duffed at least two shots in a row to post a huge number. 50 golf shots on a par 35... plus the fact I walked and my knee is as sore as a Saigon whore the day after the Navy leaves port.... not funny or fun.

My poor play inspired even more poor language, which made me think, "What is the more offensive swear word. "G-- Dammit or F*ck?" I think there's a debate to be had here. On one hand, G to the D is a sin, using the Lord's name in vain, while the Eff-bomb is exactly that, the worst lyric in the English language. Just something to think about while you brush your teeth or something. Gotta pack, Holla.

2006-05-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

After the previous lengthy post, I visited Squirrel's Blog to his facebook entries. Hilarious. Keep 'em coming Squirrelio. This inspired a quick entry.

The Miami Dolphins just recently lost Sticky Icky Ricky Williams to a violation of yes, a drug test. Who would've guessed it. When this news first hit ESPN I immediately asked myself, where will the fine Miami players get their weed now? Seriously, if you think Ricky Williams is the only pot smoker on the team you're kidding yourself. Now, he is the only one to retire to follow Kravitz tour the country, which means he probably has connections to some good ass bud. What will the Fish do without him? Days after the draft, this was answered, at least temporarily. Nick Saban called undrafted VA Tech Hokie, Marcus Vick in for a tryout. Let's quickly review the track record of Mike Vick's troubled younger brother. In the past three years the kid has been arrested for holding up some kid in a Burger King parking lot, kicked off the team for conduct detrimental to the team and for stomping an opposing played like he was trying to kick start a motocicleta (its been a while since Spanish 4). He was also suspended from the team for the entire 2004 season for what? Oh yea, smoking marajuana. Fear not Fish. Nick Saban has come to your rescue. Marcus Vick will sell you your weed. You just better pay him or he might come after you with the same toy gun he used to rob the kid in the BK parking lot.

2006-05-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

Yo...

Just woke up this beautiful Sunday morning. Played poker and went bowling yesterday. These are two of my favorite things. Poker was a fundraiser for a fire fighter who had open heart surgery. I was glad to help the guy out until I saw him playing in the damn tournament. I watched this guy pull up to the venue on what must've been a $35,000 Harley. I mean come on, you're the reason all of these people are here, at least limp or something. Give me a reason to feel sorry for you. Wipe the smile off your face and clutch your chest to remind me you even had the surgery. Then the tournament had one of the poorest structures imaniginable. 100 people, everyone starting with 2300 chips. They doubled the blinds every 15 minutes, starting at 10-20. The rules sheet had the final table blinds as 80,ooo and 160,000 for a total of 240,000 just from the blinds. I did the math... 100 people times 2300 chips equals a total of 230,000. This means that during the final table, even if there were only two players left, one of them would be blinded out!!!! What type of idiot planned this thing?Aafter an hour and a half the blinds were already 400-800 and 90% of the tournament was short stacked. I was pissed I was even there. Oh well, I hope the guys surgery went well. And that he can better support his family.... errr um fill up his hog at the local BP.

At least bowling went better... first time rollin since the exit of the roomie and I rolled 231, 207, and 187. This makes me happy. I love leisure sports activities.

Jim Caple's page 2 article about Sir Charles Barkley and John Daly, playing in the Celebrity Poker Showdown is effin' priceless. Had me laughing out loud for the first time since a co-worker told me his password for the office computer system last Thursday.

First, lemme tell you about this guy. He's loaded and has no problem letting you know about it, has a lisp and thinks he is the greatest thing that corporate America has ever seen. I've heard rumors that he has had his ass professionally shaven and that he tries not to miss an episode of Opera's favorite things. It should also be stated that his wife looks like his long lost brother, at least in the picture he has framed on his desk. So he left the office the other day and forgot to log out of the system and the computer locked. I couldn't log him out or log myself in. By chance, he calls the office at that very moment and one of the office ladies answers. I have her ask him his password..... Now, most of my co-workers passwords are related to one of two things, someone in their family or a favorite sports team. So examples would be Miami7, Derek4, James17, Browns3, and Austin56. So when Opera's biggest fan hesitates for five to ten seconds and then slowly begins to spell his password I'm expecting it to be his beautiful wife's name. He doesn't just say the word like a normal person. No, he spells it out and hopes we won't be able to decipher his secret code. "L-O-V-E-R-S." You have got to be effin' kidding me. His password is lovers. WOW. Even when I think he can't be more flaming he still manages to surprise me. He should be some type of SNL late night skit played by Chris Kattan.

Anywho, I gotta go rent a U-Haul and start to pack up my shit. The big move is next weekend. Feel free to keep leaving comments I love to hear from my fanbase. You guys are why I'm here. I aim to please. One

Kirk Gibson style

2006-05-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

yo....

remember when Kirk Gibson went yard with the bad wheel to win the game for the dodgers years ago. Tonight was just like that, except for the Islander slow pitch softball team lost, and I didnt go yard at all. I played ok though, 3-4 with 3 rbi's. I can't run for shit because of my wheel so its a miracle i made it to first base three times. We should've won, but we gave up one bad inning of 7 runs. I played catcher, it was like playin for the Tigers in DYA all over again. I had two tag outs at the plate, so I held my own and redeemed myself from last years playoff substitute appearance. Anyways, just got home from the Islander Bar and Grill (our sponser) and now I;m gonna chill for a little and watch Zo dominate the baby Bulls.

Good things happen to those who procrastinate

2006-05-03T18:17:00.000-07:00

So my big project was due today for the bossman. I am the project manager and I'm working with two other gentlemen on this project. Well lets just say it wasnt done, nor is it that close to completion. This is due to a number of reasons, some being the other two clowns supposed to help have been outta town every weekend since we were assigned this little misfortune. Anyways, the boss slips up yesterday and "reminds" me that my project is due next Wednesday, when in all reality I know the thing is due this Wed. I jump all over this opportunity. "Yea, I know, it'll be ready by then. Thanks for the reminder!" I immediately change the date in my phone calendar (which he knows stores all my meetings and appointments) to next Wednesday. So when this morning roles around and he tells me his blackberry just went off telling him that the project presentation is tonight. SHIT!! I tell him I thought it was next week, he agrees and then says he must've messed up. I show him my calendar and he folds and agrees to meet next Wednesday.

The day continues, I install some new accounts. I have company today from one of the managers, which is cool. I enjoy the company and we go about our day driving all over the land of cleve. Day ends and I drive the sick ass van back to the office at about 5:30 to meet the other two to work on the project. SHIT!!! The boss is still there. He's goin to watch LeBron dunk on the Wiz later and didnt want to drive home. Now he's monitoring us with the project and following us around and I am gettin a lil paranoid. So, he calls me over the intercom system. "Hey Bo-dangle (he thinks hes funny) Get up here!!!" He sounds pissed. I think he's gonna realize what happened with the project.

"I'll give you another couple days for your project if you go to happy hour tonight..." Wait a second. What the hell just happened. Now I get another extension for this stupid ass project, and I get to go drink at the Drinking Wizard, as it is called in the 'Bus. Good day. I could deal with hump day if it were like this more often.

Anyways, the little black girl was sent home on Idol tonight. I can't remember her name, but she's pretty good for a 17 year old. I hope Chris and Kat are in the final. And now it's on to the Cavs game. Did anyone else notice that LeBron wears his headband all up high on his forehead? I think this looks weird, but maybe makes him jump higher. Who the hell knows. I'm out. One.

2006-05-01T19:05:00.000-07:00

Long day at work today... didn't do much though so it wasn't too bad. I did print off 56 new policy updates, which killed three and a half trees. Went golfing with some guys from the office. I played like absolute butt hole. Oh well, for the second time out it wasn't too bad. There were no Snowman Bowmans... which is nice. My allergies did nothing but kill my golf game, I drank two Bud Light tall boys in attempt to drown the bastards but I lost and now my eyes feel like sandpaper. Shot 48 on 9, this can only get better.

Prison Break and 24 Tivo sessions tonight. Both should be good. Playing a little poker while I watch, and I just got two A's... is that good? I hope so. Gotta install 58 first aid cabinets tomorrow at Heinen's grocery stores... gonna be another long day. ok back to the boob tube.... holla

2006-04-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

A lot of Buckeyes drafted in the first and second rounds. This makes me happy. AJ Hawk will be a walking God amongst the Cheeseheads, and Whitner and Youboty are teammates in Buffalo. As are Schlegal and Mangold for the New York football Jets. Carpenter gets to hit T.O in practice in Dallas and Salley will be chest bumping Chris Gamble in Carolina. Santonio will be catching passes from former Redhawk Benjamin Roethlisburger. I like where all these guys ended up. They can have good careers there.
While we're on the topic of OSU football.... why go and change the jerseys. No gray for the scarlett and gray. I disagree with this decision Tressell. What happened to Mr. Conservative. Is James Tressell going to be decked out in a red suit with black pimp stripes on the sidelines this year instead of the gray sweater vest. What if Jim even grows a chinstrap beard and rocks 3 kt diamond earrings. I just don't understand the rationale behind changing one of the best uni's in the NC2A. As long as Troy Smith avoids another sack and tosses the pigskin to Teddy Ballgame for another ESPN highlight TD, I will still buy a jersey and rock it every saturday as the buckeyes trounce some unsuspecting opponent.

The boss just called me. Why, I dont know... It's Sunday and I'm just hanin' out. He wanted to talk about his golf lesson. I can't imagine him being a good golfer, so the office golf league should be interesting tomorrow. He was talkin about all the errands he has to do today. Great. Good talk, see you tomorrow. Can I expense those ten minutes on my cell phone bill? I think I should be able to. Oh well. Booter started a blog too.

I havent played poker in a long time. I think I'm starting to get the itch again. Might dabble in some party poker this afternoon. Depending on my mood.

In my EA Sports MLB 2006 season, the Indians are 21-6, and Travis "Pronk" Hafner has 23 homeruns. Barry Bonds who? The Cleveland media calls Hafner "Pronk." This is funny because they dont know what it means. The team nicknamed him that from bein in the locker room. Some combination of Prick and Donkey I think. You'll figure it out, but somehow the media hasnt and still refers to the man by the size of his penis. Its a bad comedy routine. And im out. Holla.

Mr. Divots

2006-04-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

Went to Mr. Divots this afternoon. Got the six for five deal, speaking of batting cage tokens. Hit up the slow pitch softball... After last falls 0-5 showing in a substitute playoff appearance, I need the practice. So Mr. Divots here I come.

I had to wait in line behind the three eight year old girls. This was only slightly annoying. You get sixteen pitches for one token.... these girls hit maybe 3 for a solid batting average of .188. This is not good in the batting cages. Now, I understand that they are little girls and therefore inherently less talanted than a little boy of the same age would be, but these girls would use three tokens in a row and leave 39 whiffed softballs laying around the plate. Guess who picked them up and rolled them down toward the ball collector? No not Mel Kiper, he was busy with the draft. I did said task three times in twenty minutes. The clean up aside, I hit the ball pretty well, so hopefully I can regain some street credit thursday when the Islander Grille takes the diamond.

Who's making bets on how long the knee holds up? The over under is week four. God I love my 43 year old body. Speaking of which, this will give most of you a good laugh. I am taking creatine for the first time in my life. This only makes sense, because my sports career is obviously going to take off once I bat .800 and can bench press a truck. Good news is, I'm trimming down and have gained a solid eight pounds of muscle.

Anyways, after the cages I grabbed my clubs and hit the range. $8 for a large bucket of balls, not bad. Second time hitting balls this year, not too shabby. Struggled a bit with the niner and four iron, but it'll come around. The office golf league starts on Monday and I should be one of the better golfers if not the best in the group. I'm not that great either. Should be interesting.

Alright good second post. Exciting huh? I bet this brings you back for more. Hollatchaboy.

I Heart Blog

2006-04-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Yo...

BoRock here,

Following the trend of the witty white kids from Dublin, Ohio, I am Bloggin' in for the first time. First, let me say welcome! What better way to waste your time than to read up on the uber-exciting life of the BMB.

Before starting, I must give credit where credit is due. The inspiration for the endless satire that will follow spawns from Gerndiggity and his Daily Rant, Life and Other Happenings, as well as Frieser's Bars and Mitzvahs. Yea, those two as well as God told me to do this... and by God, I mean Jimad Tresatta (AKA the combination of Jim Tressel and Thad Matta).

The majority of my postings will be related to a few select topics; my daily life, the world of sports and miscellaneous bull shit that I deem necessary to be documented in the form of a rant.
Please check the ads, the links, and please give feedback... this ends the intro. Enjoy